Dragon Slayer is the great hero fighting to save others.
Dragon slayers exist because they seek confirmation of their value, their role and position in the tribe of society.
They forget to or are unable to feel a direct connection to their aliveness, and the greater aliveness around them.
They may appear to have great courage, summon great energy, tell grandiose stories, get people excited, into action, into formation.
Are they truly brave, or driven by an even greater fear? that of being rejected: again?
Do they experience the attention of others and mistake that for the feeling of connection?
They mistake their story of self, their memories and tensions as their identity. That which threatens their story, threatens their existance.
So they feed their story until their honor grows larger than their honesty. Until the slayer becomes the dragon.
Thus there will always be dragons to fight: before we don our armour, toughen our exterior, what is it that we truly seek? Do we already have it?
Past Leaders who inspired others to create great division and conflict, were they, in their minds. sacrificing for a noble cause? Did they start out seeking to do something great, to take on a dragon? Protect us from our immorality? return our resources, restore glory, superiority, safety, protect us from our immortality?
Understanding frees us, but first: how are we to recognise when strong opinion has taken over from curious observation?
Knowledge can serve us, but we must be careful how we gather it around ourselves. We have a long history of using stories to fashion fragments of knowledge into armour and weapons, to benefit “the more deserving”.
Where we are easily upset, is where we are using a belief, (strong opinion) to prop up some part of ourselves that we are not comfortable with, where we feel shame.
That is why it has taken me decades to write about these ideas, I keep becoming entangled in them, thinking there was a personal advantage in being a “great teacher”, a way to bask in the acceptance of the tribe and finally feel valuable and safe. There are better ways of feeling the relationships beneath the tension that keep us in-sensate.
Of course, praise and attention do feel good, but like all pleasure and pain, they create a future that is more compelling than the reality of the present. They keep us blind to what is, as our focus turns from our senses to the turbulence of emotions.
When we create an alternate reality we get lost in false choices, as though control was viable. We loose our “response – ability” when we withdraw our attention from what is, and place it into what was or might be.
Most of us have parts of our self that we do not want to know about, these “estranged or orphaned” pieces are broken off at various times of trauma, they remain at the emotional age at which they were created, eternally suffering, eternally seeking.
We medicate them, over work them, surround them in cages of muslce or fat, do anything to be distracted from them and the shame that emanates from them.
They are often our most playful and creative selves, when we squash them we loose part of our aliveness. In tension we can not feel. To feel we must resonate with what is. So it is our very fear, our very shame that will not allow us to feel the relationship that awaits us. Awaiting for us to re-allow
To be a complete person, to truly know compassion for others, must we learn how to embrace all of ourselves? All of each other – aha thats a big one.
This is the Allowing in Freemocean, this is why it is not about looking externally for growth, though I do hope that we experience a more expansive life from this exploration. Allowing: is relaxing into our bodies, experiencing the tensions without reliving the stories that sustain them. Without even trying to let them got, simply being completely with what is, (with no motive to drive fresh tension).